My daughter Dottie!
Born at 8:40am on Thursday 26th July. Yes, a bit later than expected but perfect in every way.
Thanks to my clients and community for your support during my pregnancy and birth.
She is a week old today and we are still finding our feet. I encourage clients to email me, updating me on where you’re at and to keep in touch.
Over the past two years I have developed a relationship with my body that I never would have thought possible. It began while trying to uncover the reason behind why I was having trouble conceiving a child – more on that here.
First step was a blood test interpreted by professionals that I trusted and respected (my holistic doctor and dietician) which identified a number of deficiencies including iron, zinc, b12, magnesium, vitamin D and cholesterol. Yes I had a cholesterol level that was too low – I didn’t even know that was possible. A few years prior, I’d had a blood test that also reported low cholesterol but was told by a doctor that this was a positive thing!
On top of this it was also found that I had a digestive parasite which was the cause of my abdominal discomfort. I started an intensive digestive cleanse first to eliminate the parasite. This involved taking a range of different high dose anti parasitic herbs and a double dose of probiotics. My diet was pretty good so I didn’t have to make many changes here, just buckle up and get through the next 3 months of taking up to 6 tablets at every meal!
Before too long I began to notice that within an hour taking my iron tablet in the morning that I would have a tummy ache. This observation allowed the doctor to identify that the parasite was feeding on the iron in my diet (causing the unpleasant symptoms and my low iron levels) and we were then able to raise my iron level using other methods. I loved that my observations had led to a big win for my health and I thanked my body for providing such a clear message.
About halfway through the cleanse I started to get an unexplainable intuitive sense that I was taking too much of one particular herb. There was no direct evidence, just a very strong feeling so I reduced my dose and reported what I had done at my next docs appointment. My doctor always encouraged me to trust my body and my instincts. He stated that as the parasite was reducing I could reduce my dose of this herb and ensured me that I had made the right decision. This sort of confirmation allowed me to develop my communication with my body and fully trust the messages I was receiving from within.
The cleanse provided me with a platform upon which to practice and hone my mind-body connection. Numerous times I felt guided to take more or less of certain tablets or to avoid or include particular foods and was always confirmed not only through the observable feedback from my body but also from the professional guidance I received from my doctor and dietician.
I reached a place of confidence, knowing that I can fully trust my body to steer me towards optimum health. I don’t think I would have found this journey so easy if it weren’t for the amazing health professionals I’m connected with.
Once my many deficiencies were corrected and I became pregnant, I lost a tolerance for many foods and had cravings for salty, starchy, fried and crunchy foods… and not much else.
Then I faced a challenge which ultimately confirmed what I already knew but not without completely unsettling me first! I spoke to the naturopath at the health food store about how I was feeling and told her that for the time being I could only tolerate certain foods. She told me that everything I was doing was wrong and that I had to eat XYZ regardless of how I felt in order to support my baby. She went on to tell me that she’s had 3 children and that I needed to change what I’m eating immediately in order to ensure my child was being properly nourished.
Heavy! Especially after my difficult journey leading up to eventually conceiving. I started to doubt myself and feel guilty. For the first time in months I thought “maybe my body is wrong” and “maybe the lack of fresh vegies etc. in my diet is having a negative impact on my baby.” I was in a difficult situation because eating the foods that I “should” have been eating caused me a whole range of unpleasant symptoms.
Nervous and losing faith in myself, I spoke to my doc and dietician who thankfully reassured me that my current eating habits were temporary and that I needed to trust my body without worrying about doing myself or my baby and damage. I actually believe that the worry and the self doubt was more damaging for me than the bland food was!
Before too long, my symptoms improved, my tastes changed and my health improved. This challenge reminded me that I don’t need to get sucked in to the opinions of others and that I have all the inner resources I need regarding my health.
Part two of this post (about pain, exercise and massage) coming soon!
Do you apologise frequently and/or unnecessarily? Maybe you suspect you do but your not sure? Spend a few days observing and noticing your “sorry” habits, taking note of how often you apologise and whether you have done it in the appropriate context.
The dictionary meaning for “apologise” is this:
To express regret for something that one has done wrong.
Have you done anything wrong? Do you regret your actions? If not, then an apology is not necessary! Here’s a quick tip for breaking the “sorry-itis” habit.
Replace “Sorry” with “Thankyou”.
Because in many cases that is the true essence of what you would like to say.
For example “Sorry to keep you waiting” becomes “Thankyou for your patience” and “Sorry things didn’t go to plan” becomes “Thankyou for your understanding”.
People respond more positively to gratitude and praise than they do to being apologised to (especially when it’s not necessary) AND the beauty of this approach is that it will put you in touch with what you truly wish to communicate, leaving you not only feeling more satisfied but also having others notice your integrity and authenticity. Give it a try!
For some of us, negative self talk is constantly playing over and over in the background and for others it comes up in response to particular situations. My negative “demons” arrive when I have the opportunity to blame myself for something. My entire life I have been very harsh on myself whenever anything I do has an undesirable result. Sometimes my mind even searches for ways to blame me for things that are not even my fault!
Thanks to ACT and mindfulness I can allow this self talk to come and go gently without causing the difficulty and struggle that it used to. Here’s an example…
Recently I was driving to buy some honey from a family that keeps bees and produces it locally. On the way in the car I had been indulging in some unhelpful thinking about something that had happened earlier in the day. As a result I was already feeling less than average. I stopped just near my destination to get some cash out and fill up the car with petrol when I realised that I had left my wallet at home!
Urges, thoughts and feelings started welling up within me. Rather than give in to the behaviours that would normally follow on from this I just observed: I had an urge to cry, the feelings of frustration, anger and disappointment in myself all at once, I had a strong desire to call my husband and complain about my situation and that negative self talk was in full stead…
You’re useless, this is a disaster, you’re going to run out of petrol, there’s no point trying anything, you can’t do anything for yourself, what a waste of an afternoon.
I sat in stillness and asked myself “What would my confident, positive self do in this situation?” and the answer came to me immediately: “Find out if I can pay for the honey later!”. So I contact the woman selling the honey and made a plan to collect the honey and pay her at another time. This solved one of my problems, but I’m sure you’re not surprised that the thoughts and feelings were still there. I defused, observed, surfed and expanded as I continued on my way. I started to calm down once I had accepted everything happening inside my mind and body but then I was starting to worry about running out of petrol. This started my mind racing again! I soon realised that that this was beyond my control and accepted that IF that did happen that I would be ok.
Phew! What a ride I was taking myself on. I started to think it was over when I realised that I’d taken a wrong turn. Instantly all of my thoughts, feelings and urges returned with more volume than before. I must admit that I had to be very disciplined at this point so that I didn’t revert to unhelpful, ‘automatic’ behaviours. I observed my internal experiences while I turned around and found my way again. This time it was self compassion that helped me through.
By the time I arrived at my destination I had allowed, observed and accepted everything that my mind and body could throw at me and I actually started to feel content, grateful and maybe even a little bit chuffed with myself. I resigned myself to the fact that I may not make it home before I needed fuel and that knew that I would cope if this occurred.
So after picking up my honey, home I went. I was very pleased to have managed so well despite the circumstances and wasn’t even phased when I was stuck behind an incredibly slow truck for most of the journey home. And thankfully I made it home with enough fuel to pick up my wallet and to drive on to get petrol.
Without applying ACT during these events, not only would I have remained in auto-pilot and believed what my mind was saying, I would have also caused myself to suffer unnecessarily. Long standing habits of negative self talk can cause the potential for struggle however ACT techniques have the power to empower you and set you free… just like they did for me!
As many of you will be aware I am expecting my first child in mid July this year. I am planning on continuing working until the end of my pregnancy and will then have some time off after the birth.
I am not sure how long this break will be as it will depend on many things. It could be anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months! Once I return from this break I aim to have 3-5 sessions available per week so I will have less flexibility with times and days because I’ll be scheduling times when my husband is available to care for the baby. I plan on having a mixture of weekdays, evenings and weekends available.
Over the coming months I will also be releasing my deck of inspiration cards and continuing to write blog entries. Follow me on facebook for updates on this and when I’ll be reopening appointment times.
If you require support during this time please don’t hesitate to get in touch via email, facebook, phone or skype. It’s likely that I will be able to arrange skype sessions if needed.
I invite all current and previous clients to complete my online feedback form. It is completely anonymous. I am very open to receiving honest feedback in order to improve my service. I am also inviting people I have worked with to leave reviews for New Heights Wellbeing on Google Maps. Simply search for New Heights Wellbeing and when my listing comes up, select the option to write a review or submit a rating. These two things will only take a few minutes and would be greatly appreciated!
Well I only have about 7 weeks to go until the baby arrives so I’ll keep you all updated on how I’m travelling. Thankyou again for allowing me to be a part of your journey and congratulations to those of you that have transformed your life!
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy that is! I can’t get enough!
Time and time again I see people transforming their lives using simple the techniques of ACT. I have seen ACT succeed where countless other approaches have failed people again and again.
Many ACT approaches may initially seems counter-intuitive and require both practice and discipline however once mastered, ACT can set you free!
I am so excited to use ACT in my own life everyday but also to share these empowering techniques with others. It’s simple:
Accept ‘what-is’, stand back from your thoughts and feelings, act on your true values. That’s it!
